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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Random Blog Thoughts

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cartoon from kaushik.net
Random is what I do best, actually.

Seeing that I could not come up with any aha! moments to write about, I'm just going to put some semblance of organization to words that have been drifting about in my brain for the past couple of weeks.

I worry when I write on this blog that I am much too serious. If you were ever to meet me in real life you would see that I am a generally happy person. I am fun-loving, a bit crazy, even sarcastic and witty at times. I wonder if I am giving you any insight into the real me or if all you are seeing is the writing side of me - the part that uses the magic of the written word to illustrate thoughts rather than the convoluted phrases that just come flying off the cuff when I speak.

So in case you were thinking that I only write introspective, serious posts, I'd like you to know that I wrote this.

Blogging can be frustrating. It's an entire online community; a parallel life to the one I live in the real world. As in life, the blogging world has some amazing people who I would love to be friends with in real life. But it also has cliques, little blogging buddy groups, and I often feel like a 12-year-old kid again when I am in the comment section of some blogs. Like I can't leave a comment for fear of... what? I'm not sure. Being internet-ostracized? Laughed at behind my back? So instead I read, enjoy, get to know others and feel like we're friends... and then leave without saying anything. It's silly, I know! But it's really how I feel. I hope that no one who reads here ever feels this way. We're a friendly bunch here at 4P. I promise.

On another blogging note, there is a blogger conference coming up here in Utah and I have read about some of the many people who are planning to attend. For a short few days I even debated attending. However, I just can't get past the inclination that I would feel even more awkward and uncomfortable in real life, surrounded by well-known bloggers, than I do in the cliquey comment sections. One thing that you probably do not know about me is that I do not do well in unfamiliar environments. I am actually now to a point where I can not believe that I even considered attending. Things are much more comfortable here in my shell, under my rock, in my own little world, thankyouverymuch.

See what I mean? So serious.

And random.

However, for today, that's all I've got.


Chrissy said...

Hey, there is nothin' wrong w/being serious... Can one really learn anything from someone who is always joking around? huh? lol.....A blogger's convention, now that is interesting...What happens at these conventions? do people group together and find out which sites they belong to and discuss if they might know or meet up w/their contacts/followers?

Sojourner said...

To comment, or not to comment. I also always wonder whether or not to. And like you usually don't. But in reading 4p, I've never thought you were serious and uptight. I've always thought all of you sound like a fun bunch of people who, when together, would probably end a night with tummy aches from laughing so much.
I have wondered how you are all connected? How did you meet each other?
I don't remember how I stumbled upon this blog, but I'm glad I did.

Corine said...

GERB - In reference to the linked "cup" story...LOL! TO THE MAX!!! :D Thanks for sharing... We've all done a thing or two like that, and it's nice to know one is not alone in turning RED!

Just thought you might like to know... I see you as: crazy fun, even insane at times - which I love, compassionate, empathetic, totally random, outgoing and energetic, albeit with a quiet side at times (good to have balance ;), witty, somewhat serious - but not too!, interesting, amazing, a great mom and wife, a whole lot cooler that you realize - stop worrying (lol - Who am I to tell anyone not to worry! :O)

PS. Just so you know... even if you're NOT a serious person, there is such a thing as being a serious person who is also very happy and fun loving, too! I am living proof. ;)

Gerb said...

Chrissy- So far as I can tell a blogger convention is a place where various speakers tell of bloggy things. Things like how to write for your audience and how to bring traffic to your blog, etc. Plus there is entertainment at night and plenty of time for socializing. However, what you mention is what would be fun for me. I have thrown around the idea of holding a blogger gathering and inviting readers to attend, just a day-long thing, so that I could meet some of the people who comment and some of the people who I enjoy reading. I'm sure it could be awesome!

Sojourner- I am so glad that you decided to comment. Please feel free to do so whenever you visit. Thank you for sharing your perspective of me, that sounds just about where I'd like to be perceived. How are we all connected? Here's my take on it... Teachinfourth and Mel worked at an elementary school together. My 4 oldest kids have all been in T4th's classroom and Mel's art classes. Mel was also my neighbor for a long time as well as a Sunday School teacher to at least 2 of my kids and T4 and I eventually became friends outside of the classroom as well. That's how the 3 of us are connected. Lori's blog was discovered by T4, he showed it to me, and the 3 of us became online buddies. We have still yet to meet Lori but I look forward to the day when it happens. (And it WILL.) That's it in a nutshell!

Corine- Your comments always have a way of making me feel pretty dang awesome. And I'm glad you enjoyed the cup story. It was one of those stories that mortified me when it happened but now I see it as hilarious.

Rachel said...

I know!!!! You said it SO well!! I've thought so many times, "It's highschool all over again!"

Is there room under your shell? I'll bring the chocolate!

Rachel said...

OH. MY. CRAP. GERB!!!!! I just read your story. The link. I am about to bust something I am laughing so hard.

Oh this is hysterical! I'm sorry for your 37 shades of red but gosh this is fabulous.

P.S. I wouldn't have known what that was either....growing up with all girls......how the heck is someone supposed to know I ask you? HUH? Washed in the dishwasher? Oh ugh.....

Actually,....you've inspired a blog I believe...about the first time I encountered a cup....only it was my poor son who suffered from my ignorance.....

~j. said...

Gerb, I know the feelings you described regarding blogging comments, cliques, etc., because I've felt them myself. In all honesty, though, at any blogger event I've ever attended, the people there have been nothing but extremely kind and sincere people. Everyone feels out of it, everyone is somewhere on the Blogger Awkwardness spectrum (at least, all the bloggers who I know are), and comfort is taken in feeling it together...and then relief is felt at realizing that there's no need for it.

(I hope you come to CBC. I hope you'll at least seriously consider it again, and understand that you -- YOU are wanted there. For what it's worth, you're one of my favorite bloggers. Is this parenthetical paragraph too personal? Should I have emailed instead?)

Kinsey said...

I've only been blogging for a couple months, but I know what you mean about the blogging cliques (high school flashback moment).

The only reason as to why I wouldn't leave a comment would be because I'm speechless. I've come to learn that, for the most part, the blogging community that surrounds my blog is a pretty friendly place.

And a blogger's conference? I had no idea there was such a thing. Cool!

Richard & Natalie said...

Wow. What to say that hasn't been said? Because you know I have to say something, just to let you know I was here and enjoyed what you wrote- like I always do. That is why I comment; except on the days when I am brain dead and can't think of anything clever or even coherent.
I think I would feel the same way as you perceive yourself feeling at the bloggers conference. I think a local one is a great idea and a little more in my comfort zone.
And just so you know, I view all 4 of you 4P's bloggers as popular, witty, and the perfect balance of serious & hilarious. (The "cup" story made me laugh until I cried.)

You ARE funny, Gerb! Own it!

Gerb said...

Rachel- If you're bringing chocolate, I'll make room!

~j.- Well, you made my day with all of that. Thank you. A part of me would love to be at CBC just knowing that some awesome people like you and Courtney will be there. But it would be a huge leap out of my comfort zone, for sure. There are other things that fuel my awkwardness but those would be better to save for an in- person chat or an email. Thanks so much for your comment! You rock.

Kinsey- I agree, the blogging community is a pretty happy place. I think it's more a matter of getting past our own insecurities, you know?

Natalie- Did you just say I was popular? Well, my life's goal has now been achieved. Thank you! ;) I'm also glad you enjoyed the Cup Story. It was definitely one worth resurrecting for a minute. Because I AM FUNNY! (I'm totally owning it.)

Anaise said...

I remember that cup story! Worth a thousand laughs.

I've not ever read your posts with a sense of you being overly serious--most of the time I laugh when I read what you write. Or I feel happy and inspired. Good feelings all.

And as for blog cliques--what the heck are those? You're a writer worth reading. Own it. :)

Corine said...

...read your comment to Natalie; way to go! ;)

Lori said...

Somehow I missed this. Unbelievable. Screwey rabbit, trix are for kids. Great post, and right there with you, Gerb. I'm not a IRL person, either, except perhaps in one-on-one situations. I'm much less witty. I'd be like, uh, let me think up a clever riposte and I'll get back to you when I have one...

Maybe we should get together sometime and "uh...lemme think..." simultaneously.

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