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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I used to eat salad

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Seriously, I really used to eat the stuff; moreover, I felt that the wonderful thing about a Spring Mix bag of salad was that it wasn't simply iceberg lettuce, but instead a medley of baby, greens, Endive, Radicchio, and baby spinach.

During this particular time in my life, I was all about trying to create a lunch that was not only healthy, but delicious as well. I’d always spice up the mixture of flora and fauna with Huckleberry chicken, cubed cheese, candied almonds, and a poppy seed or honey mustard dressing.

It was—in a word—delish.

That is, until the day of the insect.

It was a Tuesday; I remember it well. How could I not? It’s one of those days that seem to leap from the calendar and burn itself into the frontal lobe of your brain, permanently affixed like a tattoo.

I was getting ready for work—more specifically, my lunch for the day. I took the large container of varied greens from the fridge and proceeded to heap them into a Tupperware container. I’d already consumed nearly half of the bag up to this point, and was looking forward to today’s lunch.

This was the time I noticed shallow moment from somewhere amongst the medley of assorted vegetation. Curious, I carefully moved a few leaves of spinach to unveil the daddy long leg spider.

It’s kind of hard to describe the feelings one has at a moment like this, the rush of emotion and onslaught of thought when they’re gazing at an eight-legged monstrosity from the heart of their lunchtime fare. Words tend to fail, and it seem to never quite do it justice, you know?

I could say I felt nauseous.

I could say that I had a churning that ebbed throughout my body.

I could say that I was grossed out.

I could also tell you that I remembered the time my mom had told me about eating half a bag of chips, before she realized that there were live ants in it.

I stood there for a few moments of shuddering horror. I threw the bag of Spring Mix away…

And I haven’t bought it since.

By the way, don’t click here.

Or here either…

Image pilfered from: http://www.wildharvestorganic.com

18 comments:

Gerb said...

I read something similar to this a while back. The trick is that you must wash those "triple washed!" greens. You would be amazed (and grossed out) to know how much bacteria has been found on packaged salads. Especially spinach. But I love my salads too much to give up buying them.

In a situation like this, water is your best friend.

Richard & Natalie said...

I used to eat salads too...until NOW! Yuck!
But on the other hand, what's wrong with a little extra protien? ;)

Chrissy said...

NEVER say 'DON'T....lol... Well would u still have the same feeling if you saw the farm worker who failed to wash his hands after going to the porta potty or the bush? yep E coli was rampant in Cali., due to yucky irrigation water that was being used to water the veggies..... may want to rethink the other veggies and fruit? lol.....and here a bug is what made u quit eating salads...

Linn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachel said...

You mean to tell me you didn't squash the spider and then wash the lettuce? Baby! ;)

The worst was eating broccoli out of the garden growing up and finding the caterpillars that somehow missed the washings and freezings. There they were, their tiny bodies entwined in the florets. Shudder.

A Lark said...

OK, so after your post and the subsequent comments, I think the safest thing is to never eat store-bought vegetables and fruits again! Thanks for spoiling spring mix for me :P
But you also have to watch out for cereal - I remember when I was pretty little, and I poured out a bowl of Raisin Bran that happened to have cockroaches (or one - my memory has no doubt been distorted by time and grossed-out-ness) in it. I cannot, to this day, eat Raisin Bran!

Lars said...

It was just additional protein...I became weary of stowaways in my food after I found a band-aid in a sandwich and then an assortment of extras in an omelet once. Sadly the FDA allows a certain amount of said stowaways in food.

PMC said...

ok. gross. try this one: i picked a bunch of beautiful ripe delicious cherries from our tree one year. i ate about 15 of those babies. oh. they were good. so good i had to share with my young kiddos. i knew i had better cut them in half and get the pit out before giving them to my hungry little birds. they were ALL full of squiggly little white worms. top that one.

PMC said...

oh. and never forget the lady bug that crawled out of my salad at this really nice restaurant...i was 2 months pregnant...and had nightmares for a long time after about bugs and ladies....:)

♥Miya said...

I hate to break it to you bro, but lettuce... it comes out of the ground. You know, in the dirt, where bugs and frogs live. Oh man, I'm so sorry I never had the courage to tell you this before, but it's true.

This is why I never believe the bag when it says 'pre-washed' :P

But hey, at least you didn't drink a nice can of refreshing Coke only to find a dead toad inside...

http://consumerist.com/2009/09/good-newsthat-dead-mouse-in-your-diet-pepsi-was-actually-a-toad.html

Anaise said...

We eat bugs all the time--our lettuce comes out of our garden as much as possible--and though we wash it, we still eat bugs.

This makes me think I should post about the time I ate a cricket . . .

Natasha said...

Gross! My sister once bit into a band-aid in her sandwich at a restaurant, which will remain un-named. For compensation they gave us gift cards back to their restaurant! I once ate venison that tasted like poo on my mission.
Natasha from Today's Gift at: http://days-of-natasha.blogspot.com/

Mamma has spoken said...

I grew up on a farm in Kentucky and the mother of 4 sons. You really don't want to know what is the grossest thing I've ever ate....

Teachinfourth said...

Wow, everybody…we all have stories to share. Just think, we all have a common bond now beside simply blogging or being humans.

We've feasted on insects!

Lori said...

ACK!! I ate some of that today...now completely icked out. Thank you very much. And of course I clicked, all the while knowing that you had probably posted some sort of arachnid to completely assault my phobic self.

Thanks for that. I'll sleep well tonight. ;)

Lori said...

Back again...reading all the comments...I think Misty definitely gets the prize. I think I just threw up a little...

mywest said...

Thanks for the warning...I get enough protein without adding spiders... I do like my greens but will be doing a better rinse job.

Corine said...

J - Did you ever hear about why my dad won't eat raisins? He was eating a delicious bowl of oatmeal when he turned to his mom and thanked her for adding raisins. She turned to him, paused, looked into his bowl, and announced, "those aren't raisins, they're flies."

Had to laugh! :D - But eh... I still think you should stop being a wus and eat your greens! ;)

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