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Monday, March 22, 2010

Arachnophobia

Pin It I had a whopper of a dream last night...it involved a couple of REALLY BIG SPIDERS and a Barbie-sized Spider Queen.

I was in the movie theater, trying to find money for a ticket (since I'm now broke because of health care reform), when I saw the first spider scuttling across the polished floor. Rapidly. Towards me.

I ran.

I was hiding in the ladies' bathroom, my feet up on the toilet seat,when I heard the scuttling of eight long legs again.

Another spider came creeping under the stall door, closer and closer to the toilet.

At this point I think I decided I needed to be a little proactive with this creature, since clearly it was spoiling for a fight, and I stood up on the toilet, ready to jump down on it and smash its brains to smithereens. As I leapt into the air, though, I saw my sturdy Danskos turn to nothing on my feet. I was barefoot, with a Pretty in Pink pedicure, and about to sail down on this huge beast of a spider that would surely eat my big toe in one measly bite.

I somehow managed to twist and crash into the stall door, avoiding said hungry arachnid, and fled, again, for my life.

I ran into my kitchen (? quickest trip home, ever!) and there was this Barbie-sized female standing in my floor, accompanied by a spider henchman. She had wavy black hair and black eyes, and was carrying a wand.

Now, I'm sure everything I've written thus far would give a psychiatrist ample reason to put me away for at least a week. Even I, in my dream, was a bit wigged out by the next part.

I grabbed a sneaker and started advancing on the spider. It must have seen Death in my eye, because it took off under the refrigerator. Barbie Spider Queen was hot on its heels. I managed to snag her legs just as she dived under the refrigerator, noticing that under her cobwebby ball gown she was wearing Converse All-Stars.

I dangled her upside down by the feet, and then started to bash her Barbie head against the side of the appliance. "NO MORE SPIDERS!" I was shouting.

That's when I woke up.

I have no interpretative words for this dream, except:
  • I'm really not a bloodthirsty person, and I rarely pick on those smaller than myself.
  • I was reading Greek myths yesterday for Children's Lit. Perhaps the myth of Arachne and what's her face stuck?
  • I definitely, absolutely, beyond any shadow of a doubt possess a HUGE spider phobia.

I welcome any sense anyone can make of this craziness.

9 comments:

Chrissy said...

Maybe the Greek myth thing, but it sounds like someone had been yankin your chain? who is buggin u? anyone upset u lately? like a MIL? lol mine would make me want to thrash!.

Richard & Natalie said...

This just reinforced my aversion to Barbie, but at the same time made me want a pink pair of Converse hightops. Gotta love dreams.
I am not the blood thirsty type either, except when it comes to spiders- the more we can be rid of them the better!

Rachel said...

I'm all for bashing in the brains of spiders but I have to say that the fact that this spider had on Converse is a strong indication that this particular spider did indeed have brains and good ones at that.

Me personally, I think this dream has to do with smart shopping! Just think. You bash in the brains of the spider and you have four pairs of really cool shoes! There's a lesson here! I'm thinking that you are going to go shopping soon and some big hairy momma lady named Barbie is going to try to get in your way of some fabulous deal. You need to be strong! Don't back down and you'll walk away with the fabulous shoes.

I should start charging for my wisdom.......

Mamma has spoken said...

I.HATE.SPIDERS!
Even if it is a Barbie, princessy spider in pink tennis shoes and ball gown.
It needed to have it's head bashed in.
As for the meaning of your dream, who knows but it was a great story!

Shannon said...

Lori - you may need to lay off the sauce before bedtime each evening. (just kidding :-) great story...disturbing dream!!)

Anaise said...

That was a scary dream. I'm not even going to try to interpret it. Perhaps it was just a big old scary dream.

I hope you slept more peacefully last night!

PMC said...

LOL. my goodness. i have to applaud you for your bravery. your willingness to share your violent dream is nothing short of heroic.

laughing my face off here.

Gerb said...

Yesterday Hubba pointed out a spider to Allen. Allen killed it then tried to get Hubba to hold it to see that it could not hurt him. I was all encouraging, saying things like, "Just hold it, Hubba. It's dead. it can't hurt you." Well, next thing I know, Allen's saying, "Yeah, look, Mom can hold it," and putting it into my hand. I tried my best to remain calm but I'm the first to admit that, even dead, those creepy-crawlies send shivers down my spine. Yuck!

Lori said...

Chrissy--Laughing!! I hadn't thought of that one. Fortunately for me, considering how I live a mile away as the crow flies, my MIL is fantastic. Sweet, humble, never intrusive...now my FIL--that's another story. ;)

Nat--I think we should get some pink Converse. Maybe if I'd been wearing a pair in my dream, I would've been able to smash the spider in the first place.

Rachel--There are no words sometimes. I bow to your wisdom. Going shopping this afternoon...

Bonnie--thank you much. And I'm so happy everyone is sharing my aversion...

Shannon--what sauce? I was sauceless, I swear...;)

Anaise--I slept dreamlessly, thank you!

Misty--I'm a HERO! Yay! ;)

Gerb--I would've lost it, dead or not. That spider would've gotten launched into the air as soon as it hit my hand. I salute you.

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