Pin It I believe that there is a Coupon Conspiracy. I believe this the same way I believe the world is round, gravity prevails, and I need oxygen and sunshine to survive.
It used to be that manufacturers made coupons in all different denominations: everything from ten cents up to a dollar. Everything over fifty cents was rare and to be prized. I remember scouring magazines and the Sunday circulars diligently each weekend and clipping everything from hot dogs to toilet paper.
It was a party in the coupon organizer when Kroger started doubling coupons up to and including fifty cents. Suddenly those wimpy little forty cent coupons were worth EIGHTY cents! Eureka! I loved going grocery shopping!
I have noticed in recent years, though, that the incidence of fifty cents and lesser coupons is lessening. Now the trend is reversing...most coupons are a whopping 55 cents, adding up to a whopping...55 cents, because nothing over fifty cents is doubled. This stinks! It's a conspiracy, I say.
I think the manufacturers and Kroger are in cahoots. They've put their heads together and cobbled together a plan...whisperwhisperwhisper...I can hear them now. "How can we look really terrific and still not have to shell out a lot of money to the customer??? I know! Let's have Double Coupons ALL THE TIME, but let's just not make hardly any coupons that they can actually redeem. BRILLIANCE!" *much hand rubbing and villainous laughter ensues*
Yep. It's a conspiracy. I also believe that red lights are a conspiracy. Once you've been caught in one, you'll be caught in the next seventeen, guaranteeing that you'll be thirty-four minutes late to your destination.
There are other conspiracies you should be alert to as well. There's a certain superstore that does have plans to take over the world with cheaply made clothing and plastic everything. Be wary, and buy American, as Grandma always said. And there's a certain fast food chain that is introducing mind control chemicals into its chicken nuggets.
It is said that Lucky Charms cereal, being magically delicious, will counteract their effects.
And now, as this is deteriorating rapidly, I am leaving you to clip more coupons.