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Some days I become reminiscent. I think about the days I was a teenage dreamer and remember all the things I was going to become. Namely, an actress and singer. Yesterday I had one of those remembering days, sparked by a conversation with my friend Cassie who shared those dreams so many years ago... and is now living them. She has been in a few well-known movies (including Princess Diaries) and currently performs on stage at Knott's Berry Farm in southern California.
So that got me thinking. What have I done with my dreams? Have I lost them?
The closest I got to being an actress-on-stage after high school was emceeing our church's talent show a couple years running. But hey, I brought down the house! I also love using different voices and accents when I read stories to my children. I enjoy acting silly around those I know well, telling animated stories of my life, and making others laugh.
I am definitely not a professional singer, but MAN do I love to sing! I love to sing my kids to sleep - I love it even more when they want me to. Our crazy family loves to blast the stereo and sing at the top of our lungs and dance like lunatics. I get to sing at church every Sunday. I love it when someone sitting near me is singing a different part than I, allowing me to enjoy the harmony we create. I sing in the shower, sing in the car, and burst into random song lyrics whenever someone unknowingly recites a line - or even a word - from a song. It's a little game I play with myself... and it's entertaining. (Seriously, try it!)
So... are these still my dreams? Sure! And I think I am living them. Just in a different way than I had originally planned. I have also added some new dreams to the mix since my high school days... dreams of being a wife and mother, a gourmet chef, master gardener, so-so photographer, cheerleader (minus the short skirt), writer, storyteller, bargain shopper, hairdresser, seamstress, and psychiatrist, to name a few. In varying degrees, I am living all these dreams.
And, let's be honest...
It doesn't get much better than all of that.
15 comments:
I had the same dream. Right when I graduated from Highschool I took a job as a nanny in Scarsdale New York hoping I would be discovered on Broadway. Years later I didn't realize how much fun it was reading to my own kids and thinking I was a famous actress in my own home. Thanks for your delightful stories!
Having children.......I love the many roles we play. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Funny, I had one of those conversations with an old friend of mine recently, but though I sometimes wish I had made different choices in my life, she yearns to have the stability and fulfillment that I have been so blessed with.
You're right - it doesn't get any better!
Anon- It is nice to feel famous in your own home, isn't it? Thanks for the comment.
Rachel- Amen! If I'm ever feeling like I don't accomplish much, I just start listing the roles I play as a mother... even the obscure ones like nose-wiper and potty-trainer... and I start to feel a little more productive.
Sarah- Last year I had a similar conversation with someone I had a hard time being friends with in high school because she always got every role I tried out for - and I told her so. You know what she said? She told me that I came out the winner in the end because I have so many things now that she doesn't. It broke my heart to hear her say it - but also made me realize that I need to just STOP being a whiner a lot of the time and be SO grateful for the many blessings that I don't always count as such.
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both, and be one traveler...long I stood and looked down one..." The eternal question: which path do I take? What difference will that choice make in our lives?
I think it's wonderful how our dreams change and grow as we age, and how much MORE they (and we, with them) become. I think, sometimes, how much I would have missed if I had followed a different dream (becoming that FBI agent, or studying in England) rather than the more homespun Mommy dream. I'm so glad I made the choice I did. Although not nearly as "glamorous," being a wife and mother has given me untold joy, easy giggles, and abundant, undeserved blessings.
Lori- I guess you could say we took the one less traveled by... and that has made all the difference. So many paths I could have taken would have led me a different way. I am sure that I could have found happiness down any path I would have chosen but it's nice to see where the current path has taken me. No, my life may not be as glamorous as I had dreamed, but it does have its own (much different than expected) rewards.
A I began reading, I sure hoped it would end the way it did . . . whay a crazy, satisfying dream motherhood is!
Dream on, Gerb. Heaven knows when we lose the sight of what we really have (and the 'possiblites' of life) things can seem not all that great.
Anaise- Crazy and satisfying are two very good words to describe it!
T5th- It is so true - and much too easy to lose sight of those possibilities. It is also easy for me to be frustrated and ungrateful when so many blessings are right on my doorstep. Sometimes I just need to remember.
So how are WE going to accomplish the cheerleading goal? I have always wanted to do this!
Lena- I'll let you know when ElemenoB's next basketball game is and you can join the cheering section! Either that or we can just cheer each other on...
2,4,6,8... who do I appreciate? LENA! LENA! GOOOOOoooooooo, LENA!
I think dreams for the future are the most important- because they define our paths today.
Annette- I couldn't have said it better myself. ;)
YUP!! Count me in for having recently had this discussion... I've mostly talked with myself though. Wondered where I've been... Where I am and where I'm going. Although I am frustrated with where I am to some point I can't be too upset. The "hardest" goal - the one we don't have much control over has sucessfully been achieved (my husband and kids). I feel I have done the best with life that life has handed me.
It's easy to achieve my lofty dreams if $ was easier to come by (my dream has to be bought.. it's not necessarily a God given talent). I REFUSE to give up hope though. Not until I'm dead... then I'll think about giving up.
Farscaper- I have a few dreams which require some cold, hard cash as well. I'm not getting my hopes up, but perhaps someday...
I love what you said there at the end. It may become my new mantra: Don't even think about giving up - until you're dead!
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