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Friday, November 13, 2009

Shoes Baffle Me


Born and raised in Provo, Utah, her dad picked her husband for her (really). She and her sweetheart have been married for 17 years. They are the parents of three sons, one a teenager and the other two in gradeschool, and one daughter, who at 19 months old rules the house with her chubby fist and gap-toothed smile.

Yes, you read that right. Shoes baffle me. Don't get me wrong--I love shoes. The more comfy, the better. And if I don't have to tie or buckle or lace them? Perfect. But there is one thing I don't understand.

Why do I see stray shoes on the road?

And it's never a pair of them. I realize that shoes can come off a person's feet in tragic auto-pedestrian accidents, but I'm pretty sure the officers on the scene clean those up. I'm talking about the single shoes you see in the middle of or off to the side of the road. Where do those come from?

I've always assumed that those lonely shoes are the casualty of a move. You've seen the college students with their little hatchbacks stuffed to overflowing with all their belongings. They're bound to lose something on their way to independence, finals, and rent payments. Or maybe the shoe has been thrown out the window by a child having a tantrum. I could see that.

But don't people notice that something has fallen out of their car? What do they do when they unpack or arrive at their destination and realize they or their child no longer have a complete pair of shoes? Would it bother them enough that they'd retrace their route to find the errant shoe? I can see myself doing that.

Missing things bug the crap out of me. I can't stand it. The thought of losing a single shoe would be enough to put me in the funny farm. Losing a sock in the wash is cause for a near nervous breakdown. I will hunt feverishly to figure out where that sock has disappeared. I just like to have paired things in pairs. Call me compulsive or obsessive, but that's the way I am.

Enter my three sons. Fortunately for my sanity, I no longer count every Lego block as it goes back into its container to make sure all are accounted for. I gave that up when son #2 got past the Duplo stage. I still do it with the Duplo Primo container because hey--20 pieces of huge Legos aren't that hard to keep track of. I had to give up keeping track of all the Matchbox/Hotwheels cars, though. I swear those things multiply in the dark when left unattended.

When it comes to keeping track of stuff, my sons are horrible. This is annoying to me. I can tell them exactly where their stuff is. I can give them specific directions to find something that is in plain site on top of their dresser. They go to find it and come back in less than a minute, claiming that "it wasn't there." Drives me nuts. I walk them back in the exact location and, lo and behold, there it is. Exactly where I said it was. I would like to assume that it's a boy thing. However, I'm forced to be realistic and admit that it's a personality thing.

I don't know why I am anal retentive in this way. I don't remember not being this way. I could find any one of my toys as a child because I knew exactly where they all were. And it wasn't because I was a particularly neat and organized child. My dad used to tease me about bringing in the garden tiller to clean my room because there were so many piles. But I knew what was in each pile and could find what I wanted when I wanted it. I'm weird that way.

So can anyone explain to me the mystery of roadside footwear? Has anyone actually lost a shoe this way? C'mon. Enlighten me. I really need to know.

In the meantime, if you'll excuse me, I need to find my husband's missing sock.


Farscaper said...

In some ways I'm a lot like you. I know exactly what is where in all my piles of things. I can tell my kids where their shoes are if I had seen them. I have a photo memory and as long as no one has moved the item I can find it in a heartbeat.

The lone shoe issue... I watched my neice lose one once. We were traveling down a main road (40mph)... she had stuck her feet out the window. When she went to pull her feet back inside she lost one. She complained and my sister just claimed it was her daughter's own dumb fault for sticking her feet out the window and kept right on driving. We were heading home so my sister wasn't distraught. They also were pretty old shoes.

I don't get it either. I would go back.

We lost our gascap once (forgot it on top of our van). I made my husband dodge traffic to go get it. It was cracked and had lost a piece of plastic on the edge but we put it back on anyway.

I don't like losing things either.

Sister Pottymouth said...

Thank you, Farscaper. I'm glad I'm not the only one. Not that I ever thought I was, mind you--I know I'm not--but it's always nice to have someone admit that they do the same thing I do.

Rachel said...

I can tell you exactly where all of those shoes come from! Morning dawns bright and early and I am trying to get my kids ready and off to school........inevitably one or two of my kids will have a missing shoe. The house is turned upside down looking for it......Sunday morning same thing. Saturday night the shoes and clothes are set out all ready for the next day so that we can leave the house in a sweet, loving, and peaceful mood.........Sunday morning arrives and........a shoe is missing......the sweet, happy, peaceful family ends up walking out the door dishevled, grumpy, and mom is ticked. All those shoes you are finding.....are ours. Do me a favor? When you see them.......could you help my sanity and return them to us? Thanks in advance.

NiHao said...

Could they possibly be out in the gravel in front of my house? Perhaps I can fetch them for you...lol

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