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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Past, Present and Future

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photo from harrypotter.wikia.com

There are some memories which I would prefer to forget altogether, yet there are others I would love to step into and breathe all over again.

Have you seen Harry Potter? I am fascinated by the idea of owning a pensieve. Have you noticed that people will often remember the same event—yet with differing details? Well, a pensieve would solve that problem. One could simply slip back and glimpse at what it was that really happened.

In my own life, I can think of so many memories that I would love to slip into yet again... not just to remember, but to actually re-live. What I wouldn’t give to be back under the old porch on 5th Avenue in Iowa, playing make-believe games with my little brother. The moments of dancing with my dad when I was still his little girl, and then again in the moments during the last weeks of his life. I would love to re-live the feeling of magic as I performed on a stage—hearing the thunderous applause of the crowd at the conclusion of the performance. Or better yet, to once again breathe in the sweet smell of grandpa's pipe smoke, and watch more closely as he worked his magic with paints and pencils, bringing a blank canvas to life.

If I could combine the pensieve with the time machine from Back to the Future, my life would be truly awesome. I could sort out my memories first, find the ones that needed a bit of ‘tweaking’ and head back in time to fix them. I would make it so that I had never worn that humiliating outfit on my first day of high school. I would return to the pageant I was in, and answer my final question the right way. I would become better friends with the guys I was interested in, instead of wishing there was more there. I would have...

Actually; when I come to think about it, it is all of these experiences which made me who I am today…

When I was bullied, I learned to stand up for others.

When my heart was broken, I learned that I'd never want to inflict that same pain upon any other human being.

When I made mistakes, I learned how to do better the next time around.

There are so many lessons I have learned; I don't think I'd want to change my past - because even the slightest change could alter my future and who it is that I have become.

So on second thought, forget pensieves and time machines, I will instead be who I am and live for today - taking things as they come.

Bring on the experience.


Rachel said...

Are you and Mr. Z on the same wave pattern this week........ :)

I agree with this post. The things we've done, the things we've seen, the places we've been....they all make us who we are today and hopefully they've made us better people.

I wonder if perhaps the reason that the really good memories that I have aren't quite the same as when they first occurred is because like in Harry Potter, when he stood in front of the Mirror of Erised I'd be so wrapped up in the feel good memories that I'd forget to live in the now. Thus missing out on more feel good memories and even the not so feel good ones......but have good lessons never the less.

Gerb said...

Rachel- I did debate whether I should post this or not for that very reason... we do both cover the same idea, don't we? But I already had it in the works and didn't want to come up with anything new so I just stuck with it.

And - good point. I have a funny feeling that we're all going to be learning new things, good and bad, for the rest of our lives.

Richard & Natalie said...

Isn't it great to be able to look back on the experiences of our lives, even (& esp.) the painful ones, and realize there was some purpose to them? Sometimes we have to experience certain things to prepare us for better things to come.
You said it well, Gerb. Thanks.

Anaise said...

Being "blind" to what is to come is a blessing in so many ways, and I, too, have stopped wishing for a time machine . . . instead I'm grateful for video cameras!

Gerb said...

Natalie- If there was no purpose in so many of the experiences I've had I would still be wallowing in a pool of self-pity. Seeing how I've grown from them gives me hope and helps me look at things from a new perspective. When a challenge comes my way I try to look at it with a 'what do I need to learn from this?' attitude. (TRY being the key word there... ;))

Anaise- I need to use one of those more often. I'm not getting any younger - and neither are my kids!

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