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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

People of Walmart

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Teachinfourth's Walmart narrative yesterday brought to mind my own It-Could-Only-Happen-At-Walmart experience from the holidays.

It was just a few days before Christmas as I ventured into our local Walmart for some last-minute gift purchases. Being almost a full 9 months pregnant I thought it sensible to make a detour into the restroom before starting my shopping and was surprised to see a woman at the sink washing a small tub of dishes.

As I approached the sink to wash my hands the woman apologized for taking up a sink for her dish washing. I told her it was no bother to me but definitely wondered why in the world she found it necessary to clean her dishes in the bathroom of a Walmart. She answered my silent question with her next remark, "When we be out travelin' life's lonely highway tryin' to find that place we call home for the holidays, we gots to do what we gots to do to make things work."

A voice from behind me answered her, "Lawd, girl. You said it." I turned and saw that the dishwashing lady had a friend at the corner sink who I hadn't noticed before. Believe it or not, she was using the sink to wash her... unmentionables. Seriously. I can't make this stuff up.

At this point I was looking around for a hidden camera somewhere. I was not sure what to think.

"So, honey, when's that baby comin'?" the first lady asked me.

"I've got another few weeks," was my reply.

"This your first?" she inquired.

"No. My tenth, actually."

"You say your tenth?" she asked, incredulous. "Like, you had nine babies and this be your number TEN baby?"

"That's right," I answered, drying my hands.

"How many daddies for all them kids?"

"Just one." I answered, already growing weary of the way this conversation was headed.

"Girl, you got eight up on me. I had my oldest girl and 18 months later I had my second. And that's just 'cuz I forgot."

"You say you forgot?" the second woman remarked in a fit of laughter. "Lawd, you funny."

"So," the dishwasher asked, "you got your own T.V. show yet?"

"You say T.V. show?" the laundress laughed. "Girl, you bustin' my gut!"

"Really, now, your man got a good job to help with all those babies?" the first lady asked me.

At this point I was beyond ready to make my exit. I don't generally enjoy being the topic of an impromptu comedy show put on by two travelers in the WalMart bathroom. But I answered her question.

"Yes, he does." And then, as I started to leave I wished them well in their travels and said, "You have a Merry Christmas."

"Yeah, you too, Miss TEN BABIES. Ten! Lawd almighty. Bless you, honey. That's all I gots to say. BLESS. YOU."

And as I walked out into the store I heard the second woman comment, "When we all see that girl on T.V. we can say we met her at Utah's Walmart!"

Yeah. In the bathroom. As you washed your underwear.

Only at Walmart.


Horuss said...

so true :)

dalene said...


Anaise said...

I LIKE that story.

I LIKE how they just talked to you and treated you as their friend though they'd never met you before.

I LIKE how they "blessed" you as you left.

I so enjoy it when people see me with my kids and say "God bless you." I feel rather as if He did.

I LIKE that story!

Shannon said...

Only at Walmart, yet completely awesome nonetheless.

Word Verification: "ingshwe"...Walmart's version of Feng Shui, perhaps?

Dovie said...

Linked over from a link Dalene posted on FB. I'm with Anaise. I LIKE this story. Maybe I even love it. The raw, crazy, random, beauty of it all. Bless you and your ten babies, and those resourceful ladies.

Queen Scarlett said...

Oh my lawd... that is Rad.

HL said...

I have to say your experience beats mine by tons.

I had my two year old with me and she was throwing one of her whoppers of a tantrum. Some lady and her husband stopped to inform me that I was ruining the shopping experience for everyone in the store.

I had my mom, my sister, and her friend with me and we all tried to get her to settle down. No luck.

Then I was telling a friend about it. She reminded me that Walmart is a family store and you cannot walk into a Walmart without hearing a child throwing a fit.

You find all kinds in a Walmart. That is what makes it so fun to shop there.

I look foreard to what will happen next.

Sarah said...

I have to confess, in all my trips to that same local Walmart, I don't think I've ever ventured into the restroom (it helps that we live so close). Might have to change that, though -- who knows what adventures await?

Just SO said...

That is one absolutely crazy story and I LOVE it!

Gina said...

Too good to be true. You are so lucky.

Richard & Natalie said...

Is it normal to gag and retch while reading a blog post?

I don't know which is worse, someone washing their dishes, that they eat off, of in a sink where people wash their hands right after they have just gone to the bathroom. OR...that people are trying to get their hands clean by washing their hands in a sink where someone just washed their underwear! N.A.S.T.Y!!!
But dang funny to read about.

Janet said...

What a great story! Thanks for recording it.

And congratulations on your new little one - and that's another amazing story!

You're just plain amazing!

Mel said...

That's awesome!
Can't wait for your reality show.
Hope your ankle is on the mend and congrats on your new baby "B"

Teachinfourth said...

Wow, that totally blows the doors off of my Walmart story...


When is that show coming out, anyhow?

Handsfullmom said...


Amy Arnold said...

Matthew wanted me to tell you that he thinks that is the best story in the world! We seriously laughed so hard. But what he doesn't yet realize is that that will be a common occurrence in his near future mission life.

Rory, Chocolate Hair/Vanilla Care said...

hmm. this post explains a lot. i think i get it now. :-/

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