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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

You Look Funny

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I went to school yesterday—deciding that I’d not wear my glasses.

Why?

Oh, I don’t know; vanity I suppose. After all, have you ever seen somebody who wears glasses all the time, then, when they get contacts or corrective surgery, they always tend to look like they’re blind? You know, with that I-just-don’t-look-quite-right-look?

Yeah, so have I; there was no way that I was going to become one of those people…I’d already had a student walking down the hall a month or so ago who made the comment, “You look funny, Mr. Z.”

Now, how just does one respond to something like that? Perhaps with a heartfelt ‘thank you?’

Luckily, the child went on to explain: “You don’t look right without your glasses.”

Ugh, the lack-of-glasses-blindness-curse was beginning to descend upon me! So now perhaps you can see my dilemma, and also my incessant desire to not join the masses that ‘look funny’ without their glasses on. To combat this I decided to wear my glasses a few times a week, and then come to school a few times in contacts. That way, I’d look great both ways.

I know…pure, unadulterated genius.

So yesterday I debated on whether or not to wear the glasses, finally deciding to forgo the four-eye look, and sport contacts. Since I was pressed for time, I dropped two of lenses from the package into my computer bag and gathered up my various and sundry items to head out for the school day, confident that I’d just put them in when I had a few spare moments.

Problem #1: most teachers don’t have ‘spare moments.’

Spare moments tend to be a luxury which doesn’t happen very often, and yesterday was one of those chock-full days. There was no way that I had any time in which to put a set of contacts in. From the moment I walked in the school, until I left at some undisclosed time in the darkening hours in the early evening, I was swamped; so with this, poor vision then became the norm.

That’s when I started to make the discovery: when I can’t see properly, I get used to it. I come to believe that that is just what the world looks like, and come to accept it as reality. This is a horrible mistake when, in reality, the world is a much more stunning place with clear and beautiful colors, and everything is sharp and well-defined. But, with the lack of my eye enhancements, everything was a blur for me—the whole day. If I looked down the hallway I’d have to struggle to recognize a student; whereas, with my glasses I could have nailed them with my 20/10 vision.

You heard me…20/10, baby.

So today, I decided that I would put my contacts in before I left for school—taking one extra minute that I knew I’d not have later in the day. Will it all work out in the end? I don’t know. But heaven knows that I need to avoid the ‘blind man’ look with a well-planned preemptive strike.

17 comments:

Mamma has spoken said...

Yes I DO know what you are talking about. I laugh when someone asks me if I can do something personal during my planning period. I'm like 'What's that?'
Oh and as for the change, I had issues too. All I heard yesterday was "You cut your hair!" I wanted to say, "Really? I didn't know that!" but instead I smiled and replied yes.....

Rachel said...

Everyone in my family has fab. vision. No need for glasses so it was a shock when one day one of my sisters came home from school saying she'd failed the screening test. Yeah riiiiight. You just want attention and glasses are cool when you don't have to actually wear them.......Which one of your friends has glasses huh? Who are you trying to copy?

My mom finally ended up taking her to be checked out and guess what? She really did need those things and when she walked outside she said, "Wow, I had no idea that is what leaves looked like"! INCREDIBLE! Not only did she need glasses but she REALLY needed them. The girl is half blind! It's a wonder she made out as well as she did for so many years.

If I were one of your students I would have encouraged you to go without more often. Just so...ya know.....if I decided to pass a note or something even more devious.....you'd be 'blind' to my shinanigans. Not that I'd ever do something like that......naturally.

Lori said...

I so feel your pain. I'm about half blind myself. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm almost totally blind. I almost have astigmatism, which makes wearing contacts painful (I've tried around six different types) but necessary at different times. I'm thinking about having Lasik. I'd love to go glasses-less at some point, and still be able to see all of those details, like faces. :)

Teachinfourth said...

Bonnie - It's great that you can relate to a lot of what I can as well. I sometimes wonder just how I can do it all each day as a teacher and not be pulling my hair out by the end...I guess it's a good thing that I really like my students.

Rachel - I discovered I needed glasses in high school, it was so difficult to read the board from halfway across the room. Four pairs later, and here I am.

As for the 'blind factor' with my class? No way, I still have eagle eyes for miscreants...

Lori - We could have 'the blind club' or something like that...those with perfect vision need not apply.

Gerb said...

Can't decide which I like better - the picture or the post. You look like you're being sneaky... or watching your back. I can't decide on that either. (sigh) I give up.

Anaise said...

When my husband puts on his glasses I always get a little wiggly feeling in my stomach and slightly weak in the knees . . . but maybe that's more information than you really wanted.

Linn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Teachinfourth said...

Gerb - I am doing just a little of both.

Anaise - So you feel sick, or excited? It sounds like maybe a little of both.

Linn - I'd love to be able to see perfectly without any type of visual assistance, but that's not to be in this life, which is fine. Someday...

Anonymous said...

Your vision is almost as bad as mine! I can only see 2 inches away without my contacts in. Without them it is nothing but fuzzy mixed colors...and I look funny with glasses!
KJ

birdeeb said...

I didn't know I needed glasses until I was a Jr. in high school and I was playing with my friend's glasses. She said her eyes weren't that bad so I put the glasses on...THE CHALKBOARD LIT UP!! AND when I started driving I noticed the lights at night were stars and when I got glasses things cleared up. Probably why I did poor in school...who knows how long I needed glasses!

Also at work this last year I was wearing my glasses A LOT! We had a new co-worker and one day I put my contacts in and he told me I looked better...I thought...uhhh thanks. Then when I put make up on without my glasses on I had a guy co-worker say, "Why can't you do that EVERYDAY? You look like a totally different person!" He's a funny guy, but yeah even though the comment felt kind of nice it was mean at the same time haha! Soooooo what he was saying was I look UGLY everyday I don't do my make up....NICE! haha

Lori said...

I'm totally in for that blind club. We'll be the cool dweebs. And 20/10 rocks. My eye-doc just laughed when I told him I still couldn't see with my glasses. "That's about as good as it gets," was his comment. I think I'd be a really awesome volleyball player if I could actually see the ball--as it is, I sort of play like a bat. By sonar.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Not one person said what was on my mind; I suppose I am simply the minority - who actually speaks my mind. But, Jason, just so you know... You needen't worry about what some little 5th grader thinks! I happen to be a WOMAN who thinks you are totally "hot" (not to mention cute :) both with and without your glasses! ;) Just sayin. Have a good day!

Richard & Natalie said...

Laughing at the above comment! So nice to have honest people around, eventhough they are CHICKEN and didn't leave their name! Ahhhh, a secret admirer...bet you love that.

Anyway, I always wanted glasses as a kid. Like Rachel said, my friend had them and I thought they were the coolest. Not meant to be... yet.

Aren't kids great for self esteem? And just think you have 20 some odd of them!

Just SO said...

My husband is one of those people who looks better with glasses. He's longed for corrective eye surgery for as long as it's been around but he is scared to go for it because with his glasses, like you, he has 20/10 vision and he's afraid he won't get that with the surgery. He doesn't like contacts so for now the glasses will have to do.

I on the other hand switch between glasses and contacts on a regular basis.

Teachinfourth said...

Karen - Okay, maybe my vision isn't quite as bad as yours, but glasses sure do make the difference.

Birdeena - I think it can be just something where you just looked so different it caught him by surprise. Well, that or he really just thought you looked great when you doll yourself up. Either way, I'd take it as a compliment if I were you.

Anonymous (Mom) - Thanks for saying all those nice things, but you really didn't need to...

Natalie - I wanted glasses too, as a kid...thought they'd make me look smarter. Ah well...

Shanna - If I were him, I don't think I'd take the risk of losing out on what I have for the 'possibility' of something better...

Mel said...

You know I like your glasses - and your vanity ;-)

Anonymous said...

I am so NOT you mom! Just a secret admirer!

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