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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Time Warp

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Time is making fools of us again. ~J.K. Rowling

Ebay and I had a little jump back in time last week.

Ebay had his wisdom teeth out last Friday and since he had all four wisdom teeth out at once, they gave him anesthesia and knocked him all the way out. This was the first time that Ebay had been under general anesthesia. But Superdude had been under a couple of times over the years, so I felt like I knew what to expect. But Ebay coming out of general anesthesia had reaction I’ve never seen before. Not that I’ve had that much experience with anesthesia myself… so maybe some of you can tell me if Ebays reaction was in the realm of normal… or not.

The procedure itself only took about 20 minutes. But as his dad was driving him back home I got two phone calls from a clearly hysterical Ebay on the other end of the phone. Once he got home I met him at the car and have never seen anyone so upset – at least not since Ebay was little and was pitched a fit about his melted ice cream cone making him all sticky. Ebay was crying (tears and everything) and so disoriented. He just reminded me for all the world like cranky toddler Ebay at about 3 years old. We helped him downstairs to his room so he could lay down and spent a combative couple of minutes trying to help him get his shoes and socks off – combative because he didn’t want our help, he wanted to do it himself (just like when he was 3 years old). I don’t think he fully understood where he was but he did decide that he wanted some juice. So I went upstairs to get him some. A minute later I hear him crying at the bottom of the stairs.

Mom: What are you doing?

Ebay: I want some juice.

Mom: I’m getting your juice, You need to go and lay down.

Ebay: No! I’ll do it myself!

I head down the stairs because I don’t want him coming up in is wobbly state.

Mom: (In my best stern Mommy voice) I’ll get the juice for you. Now you turn yourself back around and get back to bed.

Ebay: (Wailing) Why are you mad at me!

Mom: I’m not mad at you. You just shouldn’t climb the stairs right now.

Ebay: Oh...I thought you were mad at me.

So I get him back to bed and get a little juice in him. But he is still breaking into fits of uncontrollable weeping about every 30 seconds or so.

Ebay: (Wailing again) I’m supposed to be at work. I’m going to get in trouble.

Mom: No, no. You told them you weren’t going to be there today.

Ebay: No I didn’t …I didn’t! I’m supposed to be at work.

Mom: Well, I’m pretty sure you told them, but I’ll call them and tell them you’re not feeling well.

Ebay: Oh…ok.

About 30 seconds later…

Ebay: You’re supposed to be at work. What are you doing here?

Mom: I took some time off to look after you.

Ebay: (Wailing louder now) That’s really nice of you!

At this point he’s asked for his Teddy Bear (that has lived for the past 10 years or so in a decorative nostalgic spot on the shelf) and his blanket (that needed to be tucked around him and straight and smooth just like the little freak wanted when he was 3 years old) and we had found some Tom and Jerry cartoons on TV. Unfortunately this particular cartoon found Tom the cat being tormented for some reason by a pair of enchanted scissors chasing him around trying to cut his tail and his fur.

Ebay: (Wailing yet again)Those scissors are really mean!

Mom: Do you want me to change the channel?

Ebay: Yes, this is too scary.

Now I admit,all of this was pretty funny really. But I was having a hard time fully appreciating the humor because it was really freaking me out. I kept searching his face for some sign that he was just messing with me or that 18-year old Ebay was coming back to the surface. But all I was seeing was a confused little boy that was just so sad. I found myself talking to him just like I did when he was a little guy and I would try to calm and distract him.

Mom: Do you remember you had your wisdom teeth out?

Ebay: I did? Do I get to keep them?

Mom: I don’t think so.

Ebay: But why not? (starting to cry again)

Mom: Well…why do you want them?

Ebay: For the Tooth Fairy!

Mom: Oh right. Well, I’ll have to get them for you.

Ebay: Oh…ok.

There was a whole bunch of equally funny/bizarre interchanges with altered Ebay. But it was really was a weird couple of hours for me trying to figure out if this reaction was normal or if I should be worried. I was gratified that my little boy still apparently needed his mommy, but we’d already been there and done that when he was a little guy in 1995 or so - when was Ebay 2010 going to be making an appearance?

He finally started to calm down and drifted off to sleep for about 10 minutes. Thankfully when he woke up after that little nap it was like his brain had rebooted or something. 18 year old Ebay was back. Still woosey and fuzzy, but in a much more familiar way and with no memory from about 30 seconds after the needle went into his arm at the dentist’s office.

I have to admit I was really relieved to have him back 'cause from my perspective, time travel isn't all it's cracked up to be


Gerb said...

I think I would have struggled between a) grabbing my video camera to document the whole thing and laugh over it with him later or b) calling the dentist to ask what exactly he was sedated with and is this normal?

I'm glad you got the less whiny Ebay back after his power nap.

Shawna said...

This had me laughing....I can't say the person I cared for after wisdom teeth surgery regressed to a 3-year old, but he did demand that while I was in the store grabbing him some juice, that he wanted a present. I grabbed a small stuffed animal at the checkout stand and he snuggled with that thing for the half-hour drive home, and then took it to bed with him. No hysteria or anything (thankfully) and he spent the rest of the day nodding off. I know when I had surgery a few years ago, I had no recollection of the conversation I held with my doctor after the procedure. In fact, I remember asking him at a follow-up exam why didn't he come in and check up on me and he was surprised I didn't remember the conversation I had with him in the recovery room where he went over the procedure in detail and, apparently, answered questions I had about it. Its disturbing to know that a chunk of your life (however small) is, as far as I know, completely gone, never to be retrieved again.

diane rene said...

while it's not an anesthetic, my dad has that issue with morphine. it causes him to be delusional, irrational and paranoid. we've been told it is a type of allergic reaction to the drug.

I would find out what anesthetic they gave him just so you know for future reference it may not be the wisest choice.

Richard & Natalie said...

I didn't know whether to feel bad for him or laugh at his regression. What an experience!

Lori said...

That is both hilarious and freaky. Poor Ebay! I had anesthesia when my 4 wisdoms were removed (I am now wisdom-less ;) but it didn't affect me quite the same. I was physically off-kilter and needed someone to lean on, and very, very tired.

Autumn, though, had anesthesia when she was very young, and she acted very similar when she came out of it. I just attributed it to her being three and not understanding why she felt so bad.

Sorry yall had to go through that, but thanks for the giggle.

GaeLynn said...

Poor Ebay...but it sure made me laugh. On the Ellen show she has shown a couple of hilarious Youtube videos of kids coming out of anesthesia after wisdom teeth removal. You should look them up...or I can send you the links.

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