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Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Things We Do For Love

Pin It Nothing has the potential to make a fool out of you like motherhood. We're talking big ole scarlet M emblazoned across the chest Motha-in-the-Hood. It's a disease, I think. An illness that seeps into your bloodstream as swiftly as the hormones build during pregnancy. Its hallmarks are a cheerful abandon of any and all energy, dense volunteerism of time, and extreme amnesia when it comes to actual experience. I've got it in spades.

Tuesday marks the first day of fall soccer practice for Lawson. We'll battle into cleats and shin guards, pack him onto the field with his well-loved blue ball, and settle in for two days of practice plus one game per week.

It's a familiar routine: while the children practice the adults settle in on the sidelines with camp chairs, bottles of Gatorade, cameras, and cell phones for texting during the truly tedious moments. The only difference is that this year I will not be sitting on the sidelines in my comfy camp chair with the other parents.

I will be coaching instead.

As I know absolutely nothing about soccer, this falls under the category of Stupid Things I've Volunteered To Do In My Life. (Which, incidentally, is how I could categorize most things I've volunteered to do, but let's not go there while I'm bashing myself over this current operation.) I did try to tell the individual organizing the league this minor fact, but apparently he was in dire need of coaches, and any warm body would do. It really did not matter that the only thing I know about a soccer ball is that it is significantly harder than a volleyball, and you should absolutely refrain from setting it with your fingers, or passing it with your forearms.

So I am the U8 warm body for Lawson's team. I'm currently trying to figure out the difference between a forward and a center, much to my husband's amusement, and reminding myself daily that it's all about having fun at this level. Or so I've been told. That wasn't totally the sense of things I got when I went to pick up the balls and walked into a room full of very intense looking men talking about past years and people I didn't know.

I got a really bad feeling when the room fell silent and I noted that I was the only one wearing stacked heels. Of course, I was the only female, but still. A little synchronicity would've been nice.

But that's okay. Lawson's excited that his mommy is his Coach. Let's just hope that his team doesn't end up the Bad News Bears of the soccer league.


Kalei's Best Friend said...

Good for you,Lori!.. Guess u will be living out of your vehicle? I remember those days of picking up the kids w/their gear, heading out to the field, bringing snacks, rushing back home...etc... I actually loved those days...

diane rene said...

yay you!

my husband has been coaching our girls for the last 14 years, and each of those years I become more and more thankful for him because I have no patience for dealing with the short attention spans of the little ones (and the raging hormones of the older ones).

I have yet to try it myself, but I encourage any and all brave enough to do so and give you a healthy pat on the back.

also, if you are doing this as a part of AYSO, they offer FREE online coaches training :D

Mamma has spoken said...

You know more about soccer than I do. All I know is if they win, they are to take their shirts off. Or at least that's what they did at the world cup....

Anaise said...

Ohhhhhhhh! I was so close to being in your shoes. Tuesday marks the start of soccer for us, too. Last week I got the call "We're short a coach . . . can you do it?" I told him I had kids in 3 different divisions to drop off and pick up; I told him I had a toddler and a baby to care for; he quietly waited for my answer. I asked if I could call him back in the morning. I spent a sleepless night, worrying. I called back to sign away my life for the next 8 weeks only to be told that someone beat me to it by 10 minutes.

I cannot describe my relief.

You have my sympathy and support.

Go team!!!

Cee Tindall said...

Awwww! Bless your heart, Lori! I'll keep you in prayer. Yes, it is what we do for love and I call these times "Memory Makers" - cuz Lawson will know hims mommy loves him! That's all they care about!

Good Luck! Can't wait to hear about all the home runs, or what ever they are called!


Lori said...

I think it is awesome that you are willing to step up to the plate and do something you don't know much about. I think you are going to do just fine.

I love love love your first paragraph here. Beautiful. :)

Teachinfourth said...

Lori, once-again you amaze me with your selflessness…you go, girl.

I think that this might help...


Lori said...

C--I will definitely be living out of my vehicle.Btw Autumn's tumbling four nights a week and now this, it's pretty ridiculous. Oh, well--these are the days, huh?

Diane--It's going to be a learning experience, for sure! I have such respect for coaches. I coached h.s. volleyball for a while when I taught, and loved it, but the reward is all in the kids. This will be new, with the kids so young and the sport so different. This is through a ruritan club, so no clinics, unfortunately. I'm going to try some online stuff, though, see what I come up with.

Bonnie--you're hilarious, woman. :)

Anaise--funny how that worked out for you. I guess my timing was off...I should have stalled! ;)

Cee--I'm sure I'll have some doozies of stories for yall...;)

Lori--thanks for that encouragement! I needed it...

Jason--I should know by now I can always count on you for a belly laugh...that was a hoot. I have to watch that movie now. Maybe that will be our weekend family movie. "You've just been served a plate of humiliation." Loving it!

The Empress said...

I wish I had the guts to do this. I'd love to be more involved in the way my son loves soccer, but I'm so intimidated by the other parents knowing that I know nothing. Yet, they don't volunteer, right?

I think it's awesome. I wish my fear wouldn't hold me back.

Linn said...

Sucker! Kidding, mostly.

I actually think it is great and wish you luck! I'll happily be on the sidelines. Yeah for me. :)

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