Pin It Nothing has the potential to make a fool out of you like motherhood. We're talking big ole scarlet M emblazoned across the chest Motha-in-the-Hood. It's a disease, I think. An illness that seeps into your bloodstream as swiftly as the hormones build during pregnancy. Its hallmarks are a cheerful abandon of any and all energy, dense volunteerism of time, and extreme amnesia when it comes to actual experience. I've got it in spades.
Tuesday marks the first day of fall soccer practice for Lawson. We'll battle into cleats and shin guards, pack him onto the field with his well-loved blue ball, and settle in for two days of practice plus one game per week.
It's a familiar routine: while the children practice the adults settle in on the sidelines with camp chairs, bottles of Gatorade, cameras, and cell phones for texting during the truly tedious moments. The only difference is that this year I will not be sitting on the sidelines in my comfy camp chair with the other parents.
I will be coaching instead.
As I know absolutely nothing about soccer, this falls under the category of Stupid Things I've Volunteered To Do In My Life. (Which, incidentally, is how I could categorize most things I've volunteered to do, but let's not go there while I'm bashing myself over this current operation.) I did try to tell the individual organizing the league this minor fact, but apparently he was in dire need of coaches, and any warm body would do. It really did not matter that the only thing I know about a soccer ball is that it is significantly harder than a volleyball, and you should absolutely refrain from setting it with your fingers, or passing it with your forearms.
So I am the U8 warm body for Lawson's team. I'm currently trying to figure out the difference between a forward and a center, much to my husband's amusement, and reminding myself daily that it's all about having fun at this level. Or so I've been told. That wasn't totally the sense of things I got when I went to pick up the balls and walked into a room full of very intense looking men talking about past years and people I didn't know.
I got a really bad feeling when the room fell silent and I noted that I was the only one wearing stacked heels. Of course, I was the only female, but still. A little synchronicity would've been nice.
But that's okay. Lawson's excited that his mommy is his Coach. Let's just hope that his team doesn't end up the Bad News Bears of the soccer league.