The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. ~Eric Hoffer, Reflections On The Human Condition
It’s a miracle!
Really, miracle is the only word that can possibly apply.
It’s 10pm, I got the official word about the miracle at about 7:30pm and I am still basking in the miraculous glow.
I think what makes the miracle so much more exciting is that I really was convinced that it was never going to happen for me – I just didn’t have what it took.. Oh, I was trying hard – really, I was. But it had just been such a long time since I’d done anything like this and to be honest, I wasn’t that great at it the last time I had to do it. Ebay was nice (and patient) enough to put a lot of time helping me and coaching me and encouraging me. But every single time I thought I was there, I thought I was ready I would put myself out there and….failure. Well, maybe failure is too strong a word, but certainly not as much success as it was going to take for the miracle I needed to happen.
And I really did need it to happen. I really needed to get this monkey off my back. This needed to happen and it needed to happen soon so that I could relax and think about other things. There are other areas of my life that need some attention and I can’t be spending every free moment on this one thing. But even though I was working on it every day and spending all the time I could, I just didn’t feel like it was happening, it didn’t seem to be getting easier – was it really this hard or am I really just this pathetic?
But today between the hours of 4pm and 7pm (after a considerable amount of praying I don’t mind telling you) a window opened and, to quote The Wizard of Oz one more time…a miracle occurred. Somehow I was able to recollect, recall and reason – not everything – but just enough to effect a miracle.
I am so relieved. I am wading – no swimming in a big pool of relief. I keep thinking about that line from Dickens "I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a school-boy. I am as giddy as a drunken man." I feel like going out and buying myself a big ice cream cone (or maybe even shoes) because I rock!
I rock because I passed my final exam this afternoon and finally finished my College Algebra Class - behold the miracle.
P.S. And Ebay Rocks too!! I couldn’t have done it without his help – he was the voice inside my head reminding me about the Pythagorean Theorem and the Evil Denominators.
What the hell, Ice Cream for EVERYONE!!